Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
