So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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