I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
