guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
