he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
