What a fucking waste of an outfit
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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