I bet he comes in French.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night