At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub