if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
