were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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