I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
