I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
