Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
