is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
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