I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
