just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Let's get the cat blown out
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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