Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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