Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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