that's an acceptable place to lick
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
