i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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