Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
