it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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