GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
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I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
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we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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