I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
