peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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