Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
