When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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