I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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