If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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