If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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