rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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