Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize