omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
