OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
