nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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