When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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