youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
