the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
