i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Randomize
