Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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