so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
