While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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