My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
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went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
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do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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