My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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