discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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