so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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