My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
