I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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