what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
