I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
the room spins SO much faster in panama
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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