it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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