I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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