So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
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The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
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It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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