so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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