Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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