So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
